


How I Stopped Worrying and Decided to Date Sebastian Smythe

by digopheliadug



Category: Glee
Genre: Established Friendship, M/M, Spoilers - How I Met Your Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2015-08-07
Packaged: 2018-04-13 07:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4513947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digopheliadug/pseuds/digopheliadug
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Spoilers for How I Met Your Mother</p><p>Many thanks to tumblr user <a href="http://bononoh.tumblr.com">bononoh</a> for the beta!</p>
    </blockquote>





	How I Stopped Worrying and Decided to Date Sebastian Smythe

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for How I Met Your Mother
> 
> Many thanks to tumblr user [bononoh](http://bononoh.tumblr.com) for the beta!

Kurt was willing to admit that Sebastian could be a bit of a dick.  He was rude to anyone below him at the law firm where he was a junior associate.  He leered unapologetically at cute boys even when it made them uncomfortable.  He wasn’t shy (or remotely kind) about turning down the boys who hit on him when the two of them went out drinking at the city’s gay bars.  What Sebastian was, however, was the perfect friend to have immediately post-breakup.  And Kurt hadn’t had any shortage of breakups lately, ever since The Big One with Blaine.

First was Adam, who had said, “I really do like you, but I think you’re looking for something a bit more serious than I am.”

Sebastian’s version of being a supportive friend had been to say, “as if you could get serious with anyone who wears beanies that often.  Please, that limey screamed rebound fling.”  When Kurt regarded him with a raised eyebrow, he’d added, “And who names a glee club after themselves?  That’s self-involved even for show people.  And if he was going to call it ‘Adam’s Apples,’ shouldn’t it have been all-male?”

Then there was Elliot.  Kurt had been immediately intrigued by Elliot, who radiated glamor and charisma, but it wasn’t long before he realized that there wasn’t much under the surface.  He hadn’t been devastated when they broke up, but he did miss find himself missing the awesome sex.

“The man wore eyeliner.  In public.  During the day!” Sebastian had sounded so appalled that Kurt had almost choked on his drink laughing.

Kurt was upset after breaking up with Chandler, not because he missed him ( _yeah, not even a little_ ), but because Chandler had looked so sad when he’d done it that Kurt had felt like he was kicking a puppy.

Sebastian didn’t betray a hint of sympathy.  “It was ridiculous that you ever went out with him at all,” he said.

“Well, I figured, what could it hurt?” Kurt said, “I thought I’d go on one date, see if I liked him.  Then he broke out the ridiculous pouty face and somehow we ended up dating for six weeks.”

“That’s it,” declared Sebastian.  “You are not allowed to pick your own boyfriends anymore.”

“God knows who I’d end up with if _you_ tried setting me up,” mused Kurt.  “It’s moot, anyway.  I think I’ve already dated every eligible gay in New York.”

“Really?” challenged Sebastian.  “ _Every_ gay?”

“Yeah, what do you -” Kurt began, cutting off when Sebastian indicated himself.  “I said _eligible_ ,” Kurt resumed.  “I don’t think gay Barney Stinson counts.”

Both men zoned out momentarily, with a shared murmur of “mmm, Neil Patrick Harris.”

When Sebastian snapped back to reality, he defended, “Barney ends up with Robin!”

“OTP,” Kurt responded automatically, before continuing, “But I don’t know if you can really say they ‘ended up’ together.  I mean, they got married, but then they got divorced.”

“I thought we both agreed that that was an unnecessary travesty of television designed to free up Robin for an utterly undeserving Ted,” Sebastian said.

“That’s true…” Kurt mused.

“So, does that mean you’ll go out with me?” Sebastian prompted.

“Oh, you were serious about that?” Kurt asked, wrinkling his nose as he considered.  “Well, okay.  But only because NPH is the trump card in any argument.”

“My Robin,” Sebastian said, and smiled.


End file.
